Do your parents like your fiancé? This survey will reveal the truth.

In my premarital coaching practice I have found that the survey below really helps couples understand their thoughts and feelings about their parents and the parents of the person they love.  I suggest that you and your fiancé take this survey independently and then discuss your answers. If taking this survey brings up a lot of difficult issues don’t hesitate to ask for help. Contact me and I would be glad to set up a premarital coaching session with you.

I did not create the survey and I don’t know who wrote it; but, I pass it along and hope that you find it helpful.

Please respond to the statements below on a scale of 1-5.

1: definitely false   2: often false:  3 not false or true:  4: usually true  5: definitely true

  1. My parents are supportive of my choice of partner
  2. My parents respect my right to make my own decisions
  3. The time I spend with my family of origin is usually spent because I want to, not out of a sense of guilty obligation
  4. I am very happy with the way my parents treat us as a couple
  5. I am very happy with the way my parents treat my partner
  6. I am very happy with the way my parents treat me
  7. My parents expect me to care for them in ways and amounts that I consider appropriate
  8. If faced with having to choose on some issue or circumstance I am more my spouses partner than my parents child
  9. I can comfortably invite my parents to our home
  10. I talk freely with my mother about things she does that make me angry
  11. I talk freely with my father about things that he does that make me angry
  12. I express to my mother my love for her
  13. I express to my father my love for him
  14. I like the way partner treats my parents
  15. My mother keeps a good balance between being available to me and expecting me to run my own life
  16. I can count on my mother to say no to me if I ask to much of her
  17. My father keeps a good balance between being available to me and expecting me to run my own life
  18. I can count on my father to say no if I ask to much of him
  19. My father makes no attempt to undermine my life with my spouse
  20. My mother makes no attempt to undermine my life with my spouse
  21. I spend satisfying one-on-one time with my father
  22. I spend satisfying one-on-one time with my mother
  23. My partner enjoys my family
  24. My partner feels welcome and respected by my family
  25. I am waiting for my parents to change so that my life with them will be better

4 Stages of Love Revealed by San Jose Wedding Officiant

Tags: Conflict Resolution, Getting Married, Intimacy, Marriage Preparation, Relationship skills

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